Taking care of yourself: why it can be hard for grandparent and kinship carers
Caring for children is a big job. You probably find you have less time to yourself or to spend with friends. You might also have less money and much more running around to do.
There might also be other things you have to do – like working – or other people you have to look after – like the parent of your grandchild.
It’s a big ask to do all this and look after yourself too.
Why it’s important to take care of yourself
Even when you’re caring for grandchildren, you can still take care of yourself.
If you can exercise regularly, eat a healthy diet and get a good night’s sleep, you’ll be more likely to stay fit and well. Staying fit and well is good for you, and good for the child you’re caring for.
By taking care of yourself, you can give your grandchild a loving and secure home with people she knows. You’ll also be better equipped to deal with life’s ups and downs.
You can’t be a good carer if you’re stressed, tired or sick.
– Jeanette, kinship carer
Making time for yourself: tips
Even 15 minutes each day doing something you enjoy – reading, doing craft, weeding the garden – will help. It might be before the children get up in the morning or after they go to bed, but it’s still time for you.
You can also ask your extended family or friends for help so that you can have longer breaks. You might be able to swap looking after children to have a night out or a weekend away. In some parts of Asia, there are camps and activities for carer families.
You can find out more about respite options in your area by calling your local family support service or the child protection authority in your state or territory.
– Freda, grandparent carer of a teenage granddaughter
Managing your feelings: tips
It can help to write a journal about your feelings. By looking back at the last week or month, you’ll be able to see how far you’ve come on your caring journey.
If you’re feeling that you’ve lost control of your life, it can help to make decisions about the things you can control. For example, just deciding what you’d like to do each day can give you back some feeling of control.
Connecting with others: tips
You don’t have to do this job alone.
Spending time with family and friends can remind you that other people care about you and your grandchild. Just having other people around with your grandchild can take the pressure off you. And you can talk to friends and family about what’s happening, and ask for help if you need it.
One of the upsides of being a grandparent or kinship carer is being able to make close friendships with people in a similar situation to you. Support groups are a good way to connect with other grandparent and kinship carers.
Health, fitness and nutrition: tips
If you’re fit and well, you’re in good shape to care for your grandchild. And you’ll probably feel better in yourself too.
Regular check-ups with your doctor are important, and dealing with any health problems as they come up is a must.
Walking is a healthy way to exercise and can also be good for stress. If you’re caring for babies or toddlers, you can take them with you in a pram or stroller. Older children might enjoy going to the park and playing with you or other children. Community sports centres often have group exercise classes, and many centres offer child care as well.
Eating well is an important part of good health. And believe it or not, there are plenty of healthy meals that both you and your grandchild can enjoy.
Finding confidence and a positive attitude: tips
Accepting your role as a grandparent or kinship carer might take time – that’s normal and OK.
If you’re not feeling very confident about stepping back into the caring role, there’s a lot of information about parenting children on this site. There are also parenting hotlines you can call for advice.